Stop Procrastinating — The Real Reason You’re Not Taking Action and How to Start Today
You’re not lazy — you’re managing fear. That’s what procrastination really is.
In this episode of QueenMode, Dr. Ana Castilla breaks down the psychology behind procrastination and reveals why we often delay taking action on the very things that matter most — launching the business, writing the book, or finally sending that bold email. With her signature mix of honesty, humor, and strategy, Ana helps women entrepreneurs understand that procrastination isn’t a time-management problem — it’s an identity and mindset issue.
You’ll learn:
- The real difference between laziness and procrastination (and why it matters)
- How fear of success can hold you back as much as fear of failure
- Why women are often conditioned to “play small” and downplay ambition
- The five ways to break free from paralysis and start taking meaningful action today
If you’ve ever felt stuck, scattered, or secretly frustrated with yourself for not following through, this episode will give you a compassionate wake-up call and practical tools to move forward.
👉 Follow QueenMode and share this episode with a woman who’s ready to stop waiting and start creating.
Learn more at dranacastilla.com or connect on Instagram @queenmodepodcast.
Transcript
You're not lazy, you're managing fear.
2
:That's what procrastination really is.
3
:And today we're going to talk about how to break free.
4
:What's up Queen?
5
:I'm Dr.
6
:Ana Castilla, orthodontist, author, speaker, unapologetic, dream chaser, and yes, I took
my business from flatlining to an eight figure exit in just eight years.
7
:But spoiler alert, I didn't play it safe.
8
:I broke rules.
9
:I made bold moves, and I became the woman my younger self was waiting for.
10
:Queen Mode is your weekly dose of fear strategy, unfiltered truth, and mindset shifts that
will have you leading, growing, and living like the powerhouse you are without burning out
11
:or selling out.
12
:So if you're done playing small and ready to rise, welcome home.
13
:Okay, so let me ask you this.
14
:What is the one thing you say you want but haven't done a single thing to move toward?
15
:Be honest.
16
:I know you know exactly what I mean.
17
:We've all been there, some of us more often than we'd like to admit.
18
:But not all procrastination is created equal.
19
:There's a big difference between putting off taking that dress to the cleaners versus
putting off outlining your first book.
20
:launching your website or applying for a business loan that could change your life.
21
:In this episode, we're gonna talk about the real reason you're not taking action on the
things that matter most and how to finally break through that invisible wall and start
22
:moving forward.
23
:So let's start with the obvious, what is procrastination?
24
:And I think it's important to revisit what this means because so often I hear people use
it as...
25
:something that is interchangeable with laziness or something.
26
:But it's not the same thing.
27
:In fact, most people that procrastinate are actually very busy.
28
:You're doing a lot.
29
:Just not the one thing you need to do to move the needle.
30
:So no, you're not lazy.
31
:Procrastination is something entirely different.
32
:It's self-protection.
33
:It's a form of self-sabotage that gets you some short-term benefits because otherwise you
wouldn't do it.
34
:but not without some major long-term costs.
35
:And that's the thing, you are focused so much on managing your fears, your anxieties, that
you don't even notice another year has gone by and your dreams are still on hold.
36
:And it's a vicious cycle because now you feel guilt, shame, and even low self-esteem for
not having done what you said you would do.
37
:So why do we do it?
38
:Why do we fail to take action?
39
:especially on the things that could create major positive change in our lives.
40
:Well, let's break it down.
41
:The reasons are wide and varied.
42
:Sometimes it's fear of failure.
43
:That one's easy to understand.
44
:I mean, no one likes to fall flat on their face or risk embarrassment.
45
:But what's more surprising, even more powerful is the fact that sometimes we're afraid of
success.
46
:Yes.
47
:Fear of success, I know that sounds crazy, but I can tell you from firsthand experience
that it is a real thing.
48
:For a long time, I was afraid that if I reached a certain level of success, especially
financial success, I'd lose people or be judged, resented or misunderstood.
49
:And honestly, I'm not crazy.
50
:I experienced this early on in my life when I was a teenager.
51
:I remember a moment that stayed with me for years.
52
:You when I was a kid, I was the family interpreter because my parents didn't speak any
English.
53
:So I always interpreted for them whenever I could.
54
:And one day when I was 15, my mom took me into the city, into Manhattan to help her apply
for a permit to sell food at Flushing Meadows Park.
55
:And we went into this building that was like a turn of the 20th century building and it
was so beautiful.
56
:I instantly was mesmerized by the beautiful building and I started daydreaming and then
suddenly I don't know where I Blurred it out loud when I grow up.
57
:I'm never going to be poor Now I didn't say to her I just said it out loud but either way
my mom heard me and she got angry boy, she was really upset and as I recovered from
58
:having my daydream interrupted.
59
:As I recovered from that, I realized that she was actually offended.
60
:She snapped at me saying, verguences robar, or in English, to steal is shameful, which
just kind of means that, you know, the only true thing shameful is to steal or not have
61
:integrity.
62
:You know, that to be poor was nothing to be ashamed of.
63
:She thought I was ashamed of her or our situation.
64
:And of course, nothing could be further from the truth.
65
:I wasn't ashamed of her.
66
:I was just dreaming, but...
67
:You know, the message I got that day was loud and clear.
68
:Don't.
69
:Dream too loud.
70
:Not everyone is going to be happy for you.
71
:Not everyone is going to be happy about your dreams.
72
:And years later, even when I was doing well as an orthodontist, I would downplay my
numbers to my friends or my colleagues.
73
:I didn't want them to see how successful I was.
74
:I didn't want anyone to think I was bragging or anything like that.
75
:didn't want to not be liked because
76
:maybe I was more successful than them.
77
:So I definitely always downplayed it.
78
:And especially as a doctor, you people can be quick to wonder about your work if you are
seen as too busy.
79
:fear of success is a real thing.
80
:And it's not that we are afraid of the money or the success in and of itself, but what it
would mean to the people we love, what it means to our friends and will they still accept
81
:us.
82
:So I think that that's something that I didn't realize was a thing until years later.
83
:realized it and I realized that it was something that has stayed with me from many things
ah that I experienced early on.
84
:So the other thing that, you know, speaking of playing small is that we as women are also
taught to play small, you know, to be less threatening, to stay humble, even when we're...
85
:earn the right to be proud.
86
:Sometimes we don't take action because we're afraid that success as women might change how
people see us or how we see ourselves.
87
:And I'll give you an example.
88
:You know, as an orthodontist, I follow just about every orthodontic Facebook group out
there.
89
:And recently in one of those Facebook groups, there was a woman who made a post about an
opportunity she had to purchase an existing cashflow in practice.
90
:And this practice would have been a second practice for her.
91
:It was in addition to the one she was already building.
92
:So she was building a startup practice that had no patients.
93
:It was a practice from scratch.
94
:But then as she was building this practice, another opportunity came for her to buy a
second practice that already existed, that already had patients and it was cash flowing.
95
:And she was asking for advice, you know, whether she should do it.
96
:And of course, only she can answer that question.
97
:But what caught my eye was that in her post, she said,
98
:Am I biting off more than I can chew?
99
:I am the breadwinner of my family and I see these men out there handling two or three
practices and no one questions them.
100
:And when I read that, I was like, wow, she is afraid in some level of success because she
is a woman and she's worried about how she's going to be seen.
101
:It's crazy, you it's like 2025.
102
:And we are now breadwinners in many of our households and yet we still have to worry what
other people think about our success in the context of us being women.
103
:Or that people might think that we're biting off too much.
104
:And this runs so deep and maybe it's an entirely different episode, I get it.
105
:But I just wanted to bring this up because whether we want to admit it or not, as women we
do sometimes get judged for quote unquote biting off too much.
106
:or quote unquote doing too much.
107
:Are we going to be a good mother if we have two businesses or two locations?
108
:Are we going to be a good wife?
109
:Will our husband be threatened?
110
:This dialogue around what women should or should not do is still around and is perhaps
more dangerous than ever because it's more subtle than ever.
111
:And because we sometimes say it even to ourselves.
112
:And I use the word should because no one is really arguing anymore that
113
:Women can do something or whether women can or cannot do anything Time has shown that we
can and now the argument is not whether we can it has become whether we should and we feel
114
:guilty when we do when we do chase after things that We know men would never be questioned
for
115
:So this also introduces a fear of success.
116
:And honestly, this kind of thinking affects me to this day.
117
:I mean, just recently I put off sending an important email that I really needed to send to
get me something that is very important to me.
118
:And I hesitated for weeks in sending it.
119
:Why?
120
:Because I didn't want to be seen as demanding aggressive.
121
:It's like we're hardwired to
122
:not ruffle feathers or not ask for too much.
123
:But you know, sometimes it's not that.
124
:Sometimes it's perfectionism, which is another affliction we ladies tend to have.
125
:And this one is sneaky because perfectionism wears the disguise of productivity.
126
:It looks like you're working hard, doing research, taking another course, building another
list, but what you're really doing is stalling.
127
:I did this myself when I first started planning this podcast.
128
:I had topic lists, had name ideas, logo ideas, guest lists.
129
:I even had the base with myself about whether I should do video or audio.
130
:I felt like I was taking all manner of action, but the reality was I was doing absolutely
nothing.
131
:I was getting nowhere.
132
:And then one day when I was cleaning my house, I found an old notebook with a
133
:Podcast topic list and the date was from two years earlier two years That's when I
realized I wasn't taking action because I didn't have clarity and what I mean by that is
134
:that I didn't have clarity around my why Why do I want to do this?
135
:Why do I want to start this podcast?
136
:I mean, I'm super busy.
137
:I'm in Ortega and I'm running my business I am busy, but why do I want to stop to do this
and so for you?
138
:Ladies, Queens, you need to be able to answer this question about your dream.
139
:Because without a strong why, even the most exciting idea loses its momentum.
140
:Your why fuels you through the hard stuff.
141
:It fuels you through the uncomfortable moments.
142
:And when you don't have it, guess what?
143
:You drift, you dabble, and you make excuses.
144
:Procrastination.
145
:can also be the result of something really simple.
146
:It could be just that you are tired.
147
:Sometimes it's just plain old exhaustion.
148
:You're not lazy, you're drained.
149
:Meaningful action takes energy, however.
150
:So if you are tired, drained, or exhausted, you are not going to have the energy to start
a project or make a big change in your life.
151
:Action requires energy, and this is a
152
:big topic I'm going to return to over and over again because I do feel that nobody talks
about it and it's very overlooked.
153
:But even if you have a lot of energy, you may not be taking action due to something maybe
more existentialistic.
154
:I know it's kind of a big word, but what I mean is sometimes the reason you're stuck is
because taking action will require you to let go of who you have been.
155
:you are attached to your identity and you don't want to let it go.
156
:This one is hard to observe yourself in or it's hard to identify because most of the time
we don't realize we have created a very specific identity for ourselves.
157
:But honestly, we do it all the time.
158
:We say things like, I am not a morning person.
159
:I'm not about that.
160
:I'm this, I am that.
161
:But let me tell you, whenever you speak the words, I am this or I am that,
162
:You are defining your identity and you're making decisions or not making them based off of
that statement and therefore you are creating your universe based off that statement.
163
:That statement of I am.
164
:I am is one of the most powerful if not the most powerful phrase in the universe.
165
:On the other hand when you decide to take action and do something new you are on some
level
166
:having to let go of your old self and create a new self.
167
:And that can be very scary.
168
:I know because I had to become someone else.
169
:That is like, you will always hear me say that.
170
:Like people ask me like, how did you become successful in your business?
171
:And my response is always, I literally had to become someone else.
172
:And that is not easy, ladies.
173
:I had to let go of the little girl who just wanted to survive.
174
:and not be poor and become the type of woman who could take risks, make bold moves and run
a hugely successful practice that serves thousands of patients.
175
:Those are two very different women.
176
:Growth means change and change means loss.
177
:Even if it's just a loss of your old story.
178
:And boy, some of us really, really cling to our old story.
179
:And in not wanting to lose any part of yourself,
180
:You sabotage, you procrastinate.
181
:This brings me to the bottom line, the real reason behind all the other reasons you're
procrastinating.
182
:The truth is, you are not taking action because you are afraid of the unknown.
183
:It's that flawed idea that we're all taught.
184
:I don't know why, but have you heard this?
185
:Better the devil you know than the devil you don't.
186
:That assumes that the unknown is necessarily more difficult or challenging or scarier.
187
:So it's better to deal with something you know how to deal with than something you don't
know how to deal with.
188
:Even if that thing you know how to deal with is like not a good situation.
189
:I mean, let's think of all the relationships or all the jobs that lasted way longer than
they should have.
190
:Why did that happen?
191
:Why did they last so long?
192
:Because
193
:fear of the unknown You're afraid of what will happen if you change you were afraid of
what would happen if you left that relationship You were afraid of what would happen if
194
:you left that job You have thoughts like what people like this new me or what will they
say if I move across the country?
195
:Or what will my family think if I quit my good-paying job, which I hate to start my own
business these can be scary and paralyzing thoughts because
196
:We identify as not only being a certain type of person, but also we have an identity in
relationship to other people like our family members.
197
:And to break our identity is scary.
198
:It's what we know.
199
:But as Joe Dispenza says, nothing new can come from the known.
200
:It's already known.
201
:You can only create from the unknown.
202
:So what do do?
203
:How do you move through all this resistance and start making real empowered action?
204
:I have five ways for you.
205
:So here are five ways you can start taking action today.
206
:Number one, get clear.
207
:And I mean, get clear on your why.
208
:Without a meaningful reason, you're not gonna follow through.
209
:You're busy, you got a lot of stuff to do.
210
:You need a strong why to distract you from the everyday stuff because...
211
:Let's face it, life has lot of distractions.
212
:So get radically clear about why this matters to you.
213
:Maybe you want to get healthy to be around for your kids.
214
:Maybe you want to build wealth so you can support your aging parents.
215
:Maybe you just want to feel proud of yourself for once in your life.
216
:That's reason enough.
217
:Journal it.
218
:Write it out on paper until it rings true and authentic.
219
:But be specific.
220
:Strong wise are full of emotion and also full of, you know what, deadlines.
221
:Because otherwise, it's a pipe dream, right?
222
:Fall in love with your goal, fall in love with your dream or your project so you have the
juice needed to keep it going.
223
:Number two, focus on progress.
224
:Progress is happiness.
225
:Okay, so maybe that's something only an overachiever would say, but I do believe that.
226
:Progress is happiness.
227
:When we make progress, we feel good and feeling good keeps us motivated.
228
:Progress comes from consistency and not necessarily from big leaps.
229
:Small consistent steps is the way to go.
230
:Break your goal into small action items so you don't get overwhelmed.
231
:And then measure.
232
:Measure and celebrate your progress along the way.
233
:Number three, get an accountability.
234
:Ladies, this doesn't just work for getting yourself to the gym.
235
:It also works for your goals and your dreams.
236
:But choose wisely.
237
:Not everyone deserves to speak into your dreams.
238
:You would be surprised at how many people are not going to be happy for you.
239
:It is what it is.
240
:Sometimes the people closest to us are the ones most afraid of our change.
241
:Look for someone who's aligned.
242
:and not attached.
243
:That's why I think it's best to connect with a colleague.
244
:Ask a colleague to be your accountability buddy.
245
:They probably need one too.
246
:So once you find your accountability buddy, just simply agree to meet in person or
virtually.
247
:You guys can review each other's goals, you know, or a project.
248
:And after that, you can meet like periodically, maybe once a quarter to review each
other's progress and exchange ideas.
249
:But you know, if this is too cumbersome or you can't find the right person, you can also
hire a life or business coach.
250
:I hired a life coach in 2017 and it changed my life.
251
:She held me accountable to what I said I would do and she helped me discover.
252
:a lot of the mindset issues I had about what I thought I could do or why I wasn't doing
it.
253
:Boy, was I telling myself a lot of stories and making up a lot of excuses for why I wasn't
doing what I said I wanted to happen or why I wasn't doing.
254
:It was, it's just crazy.
255
:It's just really mind boggling when you talk to someone that can help you see what you're
telling yourself and you know, when you talk through it.
256
:you realize there's nothing but stories or your fear of letting go of your identity.
257
:number four, take care of your mind and body.
258
:Survival mode is not a long-term strategy, ladies.
259
:And if you're saying things like, don't know how I survived this week, or respond with,
I'm surviving, when people ask you how you're doing, you are in survival mode.
260
:Meditation, breath work, journaling, painting, whatever you need to do.
261
:These things are not luxuries.
262
:They are how you reconnect with your power.
263
:I mean, you recharge your cell phone every day, right?
264
:Because if you don't, it won't work.
265
:Why wouldn't you recharge yourself?
266
:If you don't recharge yourself, you won't work either.
267
:And your health, that's your engine.
268
:Prioritize sleep, exercise, and eating well.
269
:Like I said, taking action takes energy.
270
:Change takes energy.
271
:And you wouldn't believe how much time and energy you can waste on arguing with your
spouse about petty stuff, getting worked up that your staff called off, or recovering from
272
:your third cold this year because you eat like crap.
273
:You're not going to get into your queen mode without training like a life athlete.
274
:And that gets me to number five, practice courage.
275
:You will need courage to face the unknown.
276
:And this doesn't mean not being afraid.
277
:Honestly, sometimes I feel that I'm afraid more times than I would like to admit.
278
:But one thing I always am is courageous, at least where it matters.
279
:Courage is being afraid and doing it anyway.
280
:And courage is a muscle.
281
:And like all muscles, you build it by using it.
282
:Make it a point to do something courageous every single day.
283
:Speak up.
284
:Show up, say no, say yes.
285
:Start a courage journal.
286
:I know it sounds super corny, but a courage journal is so important so that you can
reflect on all the times you were so brave and so courageous.
287
:I bet you're overlooking all those moments and you're not realizing how courageous you
really are.
288
:The discomfort you feel is not a sign that you're doing it wrong.
289
:It's a sign that you're growing.
290
:So let's take a moment to recap what we've talked about today.
291
:You are not lazy.
292
:You are not broken.
293
:And you are not unmotivated.
294
:The truth is you're stuck because something deeper is going on.
295
:It might be fear of failure, fear of success, perfectionism in disguise, emotional
burnout, or just a subconscious desire to stay anchored to the identity and the people.
296
:you've always known.
297
:But here's the truth.
298
:You can't create something while clinging to the old.
299
:Your growth, your queen mode lives in the unknown.
300
:So how do you break the cycle?
301
:Well, you start by getting clear.
302
:You focus on progress, not perfection.
303
:You build in accountability.
304
:You protect your energy.
305
:And you practice courage.
306
:one small act at a time.
307
:Because action isn't something you wait for, it's something you choose.
308
:And that choice, it's available to you right now.
309
:Thanks for tuning in Queen.
310
:I hope today's episode gave you the clarity, courage, or confidence boost you needed.
311
:Because building a powerful business starts with believing in you.
312
:If you loved what you heard, don't forget to subscribe so you never miss an episode.
313
:And if this podcast moved you, inspired you, or made you think, share it with another
powerhouse woman who needs to hear it.
314
:Your reviews and shares help more Queens rise.
315
:If you want more tools, resources, or just want to connect, head to drannikastilla.com or
find me on Instagram at Queen Mode Podcast.
316
:Keep showing up, keep leading boldly, and remember, you were born to rain.
